It's amazing how many elements of human behavior are hard-wired into our bodies from the earliest days of mankind. I recently attended a fascinating presentation by Steve Gladis on how to recognize some of these behaviors and use them to improve business results. Dr. Gladis is a professor at George Mason University in Fairfax, VA and his past includes stints as a marine and an FBI agent. I highly recommend his latest book, "The Coach-Approach Leader."

So let's take a look at some of these behaviors and how you can incorporate them into your small business growth strategies. One of the strongest social elements of mankind since time immemorial is the concept of tribalism. One of Wikipedia's definitions of tribalism is "In terms of conformity, tribalism may also refer to a way of thinking or behaving in which people are more loyal to their tribe than to their friends, their country, or any other social group." It's not to hard to see how people who view you as part of your tribe will be receptive to doing business with you.

One of the ways to help your business prospects view you as a member of their tribe is to use mirroring, or neuro-linguistic programming. Mirroring is just what it sounds like. In a business situation, you would mirror the gestures, words and body language of the person you're meeting with. For example, if your prospect is speaking faster than you, speed up the pace of your speech. If your prospect leans forward, learn forward. If she leans back, lean back. If your prospect refers to their employees as "associates", don't call them employees! Don't be overly obvious about it, though. By mirroring your prospect, you trigger an emotional response that makes your prospect feel that you are a member of their tribe: "Wow, this guy is great! He's just like me!" If you're really good at it, you can take it one step further. Dr. Gladis described a situation where he was meeting with a CEO of a large company to discuss a possible executive coaching job. After mirroring the CEO for a while, Dr. Gladis adjusted his tie. Within a few minutes, the CEO adjusted his tie. He was actually mirroring Dr. Gladis back! Dr. Gladis uses this technique to determine when to make a closing attempt.

Likability is another concept closely related to tribalism in terms of connecting with your customers and prospects. Dr. Albert Mehrabian developed a theory of how communication influences likability. Mehrabian theorizes that 3 different elements of your communication influence how your likability is perceived in your communications:

• Verbal - the actual words that you say account for 7% of the perception of your message
• Vocal - the tone and inflection of your voice accounts for 38% of the perception
• Visual - your body language accounts for 55% of how your message is perceived.

Here are a few things to think about when dealing with your prospects and customers.

1. If one or more of the three elements are in conflict, you will be perceived as deceptive. A simple example would be shaking your head from side to side while saying yes. If you did this, the default perception would be that you were communicating "no" despite the fact that you said the word "yes." Make sure that all three elements of your communication are in harmony.
2. The most important non-verbal gesture in communicating is eye contact. If you are speaking to a crowd of several people, make eye contact with one person for a few seconds then turn to the other side of the table and make eye contact with another. Unless your in a one-on-one meeting, don't hold eye contact for more than a few seconds. This comes off as creepy and likely will make the person uncomfortable. If you don't make eye contact when your talking with someone, you come off as deceptive.
3. Movement can help you keep the attention of your audience. Have you ever seen Chris Rock perform comedy? He paces back and forth and then stops to deliver a punch line. This is not a spontaneous action. He recognizes that the brain is hard-wired to follow movement. If you're making a presentation to a large group of people, don't be afraid to move and use expansive gestures. The eye is hard-wired to follow them.
4. In western culture, personal space is roughly handshake distance. If you're in a meeting and someone is playing with their smartphone, walk next to them if you can. They will put down the smartphone as you get closer to them. Converely, be aware of personal space and don't make your customer or prospect feel uncomfortable by getting too close.
5. Many of us communicate with customers and prospects via telephone or web conference. Think about it. When you're not visible while communicating, you give up 55% of your ability to become likable. In these situations, communicate as if you're in the same room.  Stand up, use gestures and smile. A bluetooth headset helps.

Inbound marketing and social media have changed the way we generate leads for our businesses. However, unless you're an e-commerce business, you still need to sell your products and services face-to-face or phone-to-phone. Use the techniques described above to be liked by your prospects and be viewed as a member of their "tribe." After all, don't you like to do business with people you like?